Where My Therapist Self Meets My Mom Self
In therapy, I instinctively focus on connection before anything else. I stay curious instead of reactive. At home, I’m… well, human.
In writing the previous blog, Avoiding the Power Struggle, it occurred to me that it was entirely focused on the mom side of me, yet I’m here on the practice’s website where my therapist self exists predominantly.
It’s funny how, as a speech-language pathologist, I can step into a therapy room and stay calm, patient, and attuned. I can wait out resistance, name emotions, and find playful ways to connect in every scenario. I see the why behind a child’s behavior — not just the behavior itself. Yet, sometimes I catch myself mid-power struggle with my daughter — both of us stubborn, both standing our ground — and I think, “Wow… if a parent told me this story in a therapy session, I’d know exactly what to say.” But here at home? All of that professional perspective falls to the background in seconds when my toddler refuses to put on pants or insists that she wants a snack and doesn’t want a snack at the same time.
In therapy, I instinctively focus on connection before anything else. I stay curious instead of reactive. At home, I’m… well, human. Sometimes I rush. Sometimes I take the “no” personally. Sometimes I forget that little people need time and space to feel in control.
And honestly, it’s just different with your own kids — because the stakes feel higher, the emotions run deeper, and you’re not just observing the moment… you’re living it. There’s no professional distance or quiet reflection time — just you, your child, and the swirl of love, exhaustion, and responsibility all at once!
The truth is, the “therapist me” and the “mom me” are both trying to do the same thing — help a child feel understood, safe, supported and capable. But one of them gets to observe from a calm, supportive distance, and the other is right in the messy middle of it.
I’m learning to let those two selves borrow from each other — to bring more of my therapist patience and playfulness into motherhood, and to draw from my experiences as a mom to better support the families I work with in a more genuine and empathetic way.
If you ever feel like you “should know better” as a parent — even if you’re a child development pro, just remember knowing it and living it are two different things. And both take practice and deep breaths.
